The Chopper Chronicles

I know it’s been almost forever since I posted last. What can I really say, except ” You just can’t get good help these days ” Drums handsome Chihuahua toe toes and looks around. In all fairness, things got kinda crazy around here for awhile. SO much has happened lately I almost don’t know where to begin…..so I suppose it’s easier to start where I left off ! Not that I, Chopper The Brave, Grand PooBah of All I Survey and King Of both North and Mid Wales ( yeppers folks…I have extended My Territory since the last time I posted ! ), thought it was such a great day !!! It began as most *Adventure Days* did….Early wake up time, early cooked to order Chopper sized fresh Welsh sausage for breakfast ( and the 3 measly pieces of wheat toast Mum tossed My direction ). The Tetched Twosome were all excited about where they were going today. Dinas Bran….sounds like some breakfast cereal that comes in one of those boxes that do not have free surprises in them, to Me ! In any case…spirits were high. That Bearded Guy did a great job directing Mum to a narrow lane near Worlds End called Panorama Walk. Instead of turning towards Worlds End like before, we turned right this time and followed along the base of an AMAZING limestone cliffs formation. ( this entire valley is a Site of Special Scientific Interest & Landscape of Special Historic Interest ) Without warning, Mum suddenly turned off the road into a small pullout.  She is famous for these sudden unannounced stops which always leave That Bearded Guy sitting in the navy gators seat saying “..poop…poop…poop.. !! ” These usually knock me off of My Throne perch in the back window as well…..raises one handsome Chihuahua eyebrow, taps toe toes and glares at Mum ! I was alright with it this time though….this was as yet, unclaimed territory for me and I was anxious to leave a few markers and do a fair bit of scratching. Turns out that it was a marked section of The Offa’s Dyke Path ! That Bearded Guy stayed behind to take some pictures of the high limestone cliffs beside us ( except the sun had not peeked over their tops yet ). Mum and I walked along the road/trail/path for a little ways. That’s when My day started to go ever so  wrong !!! I was just trying to leave a nice Claim Marker to make it well known the area was now Mine when those darn Klingon’s attacked Me again !!! About this time I am seriously wondering why the heck this was called Offa’s Dyke Trail…because it certainly was NOT coming Offa !!! Making matters worse, That Bearded Guy caught up with Mum and I, and they continued walking up the trail !!! No matter how far i duck-walked, looked miserable, etc etc…onward they went !! Needless to say, I was lagging behind by an entire lead length. I could hear them plotting some dire measures, but could not hear anything beyond..” …not getting in the car with Klingons..” This would pose a major problem. It was cold, we were out in the middle of nowhere, and neither one of them is brave enough to take on the removal without body armour. Ok Ok…so this is entirely MY fault. I tend to go into devil dog mode when anyone tries to get that close to my Handsome Chihuahua butt !! Back at My chariot, things went from bad to worse !! That Bearded Guy pulled out an ultra thick pair of winter gloves ( henceforth known as gauntlets ! ), Mum produced a ziploc baggie of emergency toilet paper, and a bottle of water that i swear she had been keeping under a Glacier ! Let’s just say they BOTH got “Black Marks” for that ordeal ! I was ready to go home now. Cancel the day….the spell of excitement was thoroughly broken ! They even had the NERVE to take a picture of me curled up on My Throne in the back window a few minutes later !! I thought about pee’ing in their shoes for that indignity ! The Panorama Walk track is very skinny narrow, so the going was slow.  Although I was in full sulks and wanted to go home, I really did enjoy the spectacular views ! Not far down this track was our destination for the day. A castle ruins atop a really steep sided mountain, called Castell Dinas Bran. This area even got ME into high spirits as soon as I got out of the chariot !! It was built on the site of a really really old old Iron Age Hill Fort so the place really hummed ! There was only a small footpath type sign indicating the way up, and room for only 2 or three cars to park there.  Only one car was already there, so we anticipated having the place almost to ourselves ! Mum clipped on My Royal Leash ( nice, handy, retractable deal ) then she and That Bearded Guy started digging in the chariot boot. ( that’s the trunk to us Yankee Doodle Chihuahuas…not the smelly old kind people put on their feet ) It was really really windy and pretty cold so The Bearded Guy was putting on his down jacket, and Mum was tying hers around her waist. Well folks, I am not one to wait around for the Dawdling Duo for too long…so i carefully started making My way across the flat railed cattle grid between us and the path. Honestly folks, I really think I could have made it all the way across if That Bearded Guy had not alerted Mum, who instantly freaked out and not only called My name, but also clicked stop on the lead handle !!! Ever try turning around on a 3 inch wide rail ???? It sucked me right down and almost swallowed Me whole !!!! Literally hanging on by My toes, I could feel nettles tickling My tail !!!! It was terrible horrible and very very bad ! No sooner did I gain the top of the next rail…it sucked Me down AGAIN !!!!! Oh Waily Waily Waily, I kept falling through the raily !!! Not once…not twice…but THREE times it tried to eat Me. There i was, hanging on by mere claws, body dangling over an ancient oubliette, full of nettles growing on top of layers of prehistoric hedgehog remains, dinosaurs and certainly more than one Roman sandal, and all my Mum could do was call My name ! ( drums toes…like I wasn’t already TRYING to get away from it’s greedy jaws ! ) She was finally able to assist Me by pulling straight up on my leash. This was fine and dandy enough, although I could have done without that momentary dangle over the gaping maw of that hideous creature called a cattle grid. Whats worse, is there was not a single cow in sight !!! Mum put Me in the car boot for safe keeping, and i instantly tried to burrow in That Bearded Guys newly discarded fleece jacket. I was traumatized, claws and toe toes ached from the strain, my backside and tail, not to mention my hind legs had nearly been nettled again…and all I wanted was to burrow all the way HOME home home !!!!! Sighs heavily here for dramatic effect….Do you know what I got folks ??? If you guessed tenderly carried back to My throne in the chariot’s back window for careful transport back home…you would be wrong. Nope….The Terrible Twosome were still determined to climb the vertical hill to the castle above !!! Mum simply gave me the once over…..and shoved Me into her bozo, and off they marched….around the side of the Chihuahua eating prehistoric oubliette hiding cattle grid !  Slaps paw to handsome Chihuahua forehead…no one told ME there was another way to get past that thing !!! Without Me to pull them both up the steep hillside, it was their turn to climb up stuff with their nails !!!….. But that’s for the next post… Thanks for your patience, folks. I promise a return of regular posts. Everything has kind of settled down a bit around here.

Mum and I headed down a portion of Panorama Walk that is also a section of Offa’s Dyke Path

On Offa’s Dyke Path….not ONE word about My Duck Walk stance !!!

View from The Offull’s Dyke Path

My ‘Post Gauntlet Indignant’ pose. I was NOT amused

Refusing to acknowledge The Terrible Twosome and their levity !

Yours Truly after the prehistoric oubliette hiding Chihuahua eating cattle grid incident

To view the entire set of 18 pictures taken of the Eglwseg Rocks and The Offa’s Dyke Trail and Panorama Walk click -> HERE <-

This is Chopper The Cattle Grid Survivor, ( Gone where NO Chihuahua wants to go ! ) Grand PooBah of all I survey and King of North Wales & Mid Wales signing off for now……

Happy Turkey Day to My American Friends and Family !

I raise my Paw and Wag my tail in a *bark out* to my wonderful friend, Debbie with a new last name as of Oct 11, 2008, in Marana/Tucson, AZ !!!!! HellOoOooo and Thank You Debbie Of All Pet Travel ! HelloOoOo and Thank You’s to Rich and Erika, miss and love You’s ! You too,  Carmen,  All of Vail AZ, …. Lots of kisses and Wags.…Hiya’s to Maxx and Duke ! Also to one of My NEW friends from Washington State, who recently visited…HellOooo Rob ! Thanks for the awesome tin of South American beef with gravy !

Chopper The Brave ” Going Where No Chihuahua Has Gone Before “