The Chopper Chronicles

One would think that by now, I would be accustomed to all the eccentric and unusual habits of My servants. Most of the time I think I have them all figured out. Is there something in The Servants Handbook about keeping Chihuahua’s on their toes or something ? This morning I was awakened by the smell of fresh Welsh sausage and bacon wafting up my handsome macho pink Chihuahua nose in gentle tendrils. ( real bacon folks, not the streaky American kind that the Welsh only use for flavoring their soups and stews ) OK, so nothing too unusual about that if I have had a lion…er….lie in. This morning, when I got out of bed to claim My Chopper sized perfectly cooked to order fresh welsh sausage from The Bearded Guy, I noticed something a bit out of the ordinary. It was the middle of the blooming night ! I am telling you folks, the foxes were still barking, owls still tu who’ing, badger still digging up the neighbors perfectly manicured back yard. The butt crack of dawn had not even dropped trouser yet ! Next thing I know, The Tetched Twosome had finished breakfast and loaded Me into My chariot ! Luckily for them, The Bearded Guy turned on the back window defroster to warm up My increasingly buffed Chihuahua bum ! Otherwise there would have been a full blown protest from the Aft. Seems this middle of the night destination was Moel Famau. In the DARK ! Remind me to look up a good shrink in Yr Wyddgrug, please ! Don’t get Me wrong, folks. This Chihuahua is all for a pleasant stroll up the highest point in the Clwydian Range, taking in the delightful countryside and some magnificent views, but in the middle of the night.. !! WHAT VIEWS !??  Within a scant 10 mins, Mum had parked the car near one of the car parks up there. I don’t know why they don’t call it a sheep park. There were no cars anywhere.  Doubtless they were all still asleep somewhere !!!  There were about a million sheep though….everywhere a sheep could possibly be. They must have eaten all the park play equipment along with everything else they eat.  Not one car swing, teeter totter, nor car slide was anywhere around. ( some car park ! ) It was barely light enough to see the trail, but off we all went. The sheep paid The Tetched Twosome no mind at all, but they sure were trying to figure out what The Grand PooBah and King of North Wales was doing in the dark of pre-dawn, leaving peemails and claim markers all over the place ! Poor Mum entirely gave up trying not to step in sheep poo. She realized doing her usual anti sheep poo dance was fruitless in the dark….besides I don’t think anyone can walk to the top of Moel Famau without stepping in it. Unless, of course, one has perfectly sized superior Chihuahua feet ! Moel Famau sheep have particularly glowing eyes. Maybe its to see if there is anywhere left un poo’d yet. Thanks to That Bearded Guy taking a lot of pictures of totally perplexed sheep, and the “view” below, the trail wasn’t too hard to negotiate. About 1/3 of the way to the top, That Bearded Guy decided we should turn back. Where Mum had parked the car might not have been such a good place to NOT get a ticket. Yikes !!!  It was starting to get light by this time, so Mum started doing her usual little dance trying not to step in stuff. That Bearded Guy promised that we would all return soon and walk all the way up to the top where the Jubilee Tower is. Yay !!

All clear Mum. I scared them away without even using my barker ! All that’s left is their glowing eyes.

Um, this one is smelly like fox, Mum. Might want to walk around it.

Hey !! Back off or dim your headlights will ya !!

Begone foul devil sheep, vanish with the sunrise!! That should fix it.

Yep, you trod in sheep poo again Mum

I told you lot to scarper ! Anymore nonsense & I’ll tell my friend, Paul Williams the butcher, about you !!!

Finally light enough for a view

This is Chopper The Explorer, Grand PooBah of all I survey and King of North Wales, signing off for now……

I raise my Paw and Wag my tail in a *bark out* to my wonderful friend, Debbie with a new last name as of Oct 11, 2008, in Marana/Tucson, AZ !!!!! HellOoOooo and Thank You Debbie Of All Pet Travel ! HelloOoOo and Thank You’s to Rich and Erika, miss and love You’s ! You too,  Carmen,  All of Vail AZ, …. Lots of kisses and Wags.…Hiya’s to Maxx and Duke ! Chopper The Brave ” Going Where No Chihuahua Has Gone Before “

Mum ordered a tv and dvd player online Wednesday morning. The Crone takes a couple of naps a day sitting on the Crone throne in the lounge ( living room to us Yankee doodle Chihuahuas ) If we make noise, we get glared at and possibly get turned to stone ! . With a tv and dvd player in our bedroom it gives us a hidey hole to go to where we do not disturb her. It arrived Thursday morning, less than 24 hours after she ordered it….pretty impressive for Amazon no frills delivery  ( ok, so the real kudos go to the third party company it was sold through ) Friday morning the dvd player arrived. Barking at and sniffing  the delivery mans shoes was pretty much the highlight of the entire morning. Walkies were cold and windy and that traitorous twosome had the NERVE to pick up The Coat . The Mind Control lessons I take online during the middle of the night are finally paying off. Mum put that coat down and didn’t touch it again all day. ( My Chihuahuan Levitation Skills are still terribly lacking…the sausages and bacon still remain on their plates ! ) The rest of the morning was pretty much the usual routine until right after lunch. That Bearded Guy suggested we all go for a nice little drive around the local area. Mum and I had NO idea what was so close by ! Within a 32 mile round trip drive we saw the most amazing things !!!!! Taking the crazy skinny lanes through quaint little villages with stone buildings, beautiful green countrysides, and even crazier skinnier lanes ! It took me awhile to settle in and ride around on my cushion in the back window. I am used to riding on Mums lap or shoulders, but that was always with our friend “C” driving. That Bearded Guy navy gator’d us up and over an AMAZING area called the Horseshoe Pass, then down the other side through an area called Worlds End. At first I was expecting to see Captain Jack Sparrow or at the very least, pirates hanging around. Alas, not the same Worlds End. This one was landlocked but ever so beautiful !!! Mum did some checking about Worlds End. It seems to be a hikers paradise, but not one that is easily found. All the information she found said ” Do not ask locals for directions to Worlds End…they will not tell you !!..” My chariot, Clio, really knows how to drive up steep crazy skinny lanes !. That particular route had been in use since the Tudor Period. Next time we will take pictures of it. The only pics taken this time were on the way up to Horseshoe Pass and on top of Horseshoe Pass. It was wild and windy up there on Horseshoe Pass, but I walked around anyway. I was very pleased to claim such a historical area as mine Mine MINE !!  Even more pleased to get back into my warm charriot however ! Drums toe toes…those sheep up there have little respect and have the right of way with traffic ! I prefer my sheep plucked and roasted, not playing dumb and being a traffic hazard !!! After driving through Worlds End we drove up and across some moors !!! Another amazing area ! Not a lot of plants besides bracken and heather and sheep, lots and lots of sheep. So many sheeps my ‘Barker’ got tired ! If we go up there too many more times I shall have to employ a Royal Barker !!! Sunday was another nice driving outing with a very nice 5 curly tail walkies along another very crazy skinny lane overlooking The Vale Of Clwyd.  Mum is really getting the hang of driving the royal charriot. I am getting the hang of steering the rudder from the back window cushion too !! She only made That Bearded Guy poopie his seat once ! ( she vroomed the charriot through a great huge giant puddle that went across the whole road and was deep enough for Moby Dick & Shamu ! I could hear the theme song from Free Willy too !!!!! ( and I am not talking about when That Bearded Guy forgets to zip his pants either !! ) All in all another wonderful 5 Curly Tail week of sight seeing and walkies !!! All right here within a 20 mile radius !!! Amazing. Arizona was extremely beautiful too, but in a totally different way. This Chihuahua feels very fortunate to be so well traveled and have had the opportunity to experience such diverse and beautiful places. Except for Las Vegas. I could have done without the 3 months I lived in Las Vegas !! I will take Saguaro Cactus, Coyotes, Cheeky sheep, Fox and Badgers anytime !!!!! Oh yes, i almost forgot ! Speaking of Badgers. More Badger diggings have been spotted up along the farm track. Mum even noted where a regular Badger trail comes through the field fence onto the track now !!! AND ( this is the really cool part ) our next door neighbor came by the other evening to tell us that a badger has been in his back garden !( backyard , but these Brits get REAL testy if I call it such ! ) This guy mows his perfectly manicured lawns twice a week ! Everything is postcard perfect. He has an aviary of noisy budgies in his back garden and also has feeding stations for the wild birds. Some Badger(s) have come into his yard a few times after the peanuts fallen on the ground from the bird feeder ! Also dug great holes in his lawn digging for worms and stuff to eat. Another neighbor has had the same experience as well. Luckily neither want to hurt the Badger(s) and have put out food for them. Especially our neighbor, who believes if he makes food readily available, the badger will not dig up his grass.  Rolls handsome Chihuahua eyes….nice thought ( try ) though.

Thats it for now. It’s been difficult to blog lately. Lots of crone naps and other interuptions…not to mention a lot more little outings because My chariot is rolling once again !

View of the Llandegla Moors

My faithful chariot, Clio

Along the road to Llandegla were I went for a walkies

View from Horseshoe Pass

Cheeky sheep that poo everywhere on Horseshoe Pass

Another view from Horseshoe Pass

Mum…..umm you trod in sheep poo and your pants leg blew down…again !

Its only a view. Lets get back to the chariot before my ears freeze off and My tail blows away !

Sunday outing pictures below

Come on Mum, the Vale of Clywd is new territory !!

The Vale of Clywd

Vale of Clywd…Very peaceful and serene. Now Mine !

This is Chopper The Explorer, Grand PooBah of all I survey and King of North Wales, signing off for now……

I raise my Paw and Wag my tail in a *bark out* to my wonderful friend, Debbie Hannon, in Marana/Tucson, AZ !!!!! HellOoOooo and Thank You Debbie Of All Pet Travel ! HelloOoOo and Thank You’s to Rich and Erika, miss and love You’s ! You too,  Carmen,  All of Vail AZ, …. Lots of kisses and Wags.…Hiya’s to Maxx and Duke !

Chopper The Brave

” Going Where No Chihuahua Has Gone Before “

This Morning was NOT a good morning !!! It was really cold and raining slightly. I had walked a few blocks, checked all my local blogs and made responses to all the newest comments. Sent a few peemails and left a nice gift for my Mum to carry home. Everything was right in my world. Then it happened !!! Out of NOWHERE, a life sucking, plaid, Scottish Vampire Bat swooped down my leash string and sucked itself onto my poor unsuspecting body !!! It was terrifying ! It was horrendous ! It was the ultimate life threatening ambush from hell !!!!! That gruesome twosome didn’t even TRY to help Me !!!!!  Drums toes and looks disgusted….they took vids !!!!! VIDS !!!! Can you imagine !!! THEN the traitorous two made one very feeble attempt to take it off ONLY after I had trudged an ENTIRE BLOCK with the life sapping parasitic Vampire Bat attached to my rapidly weakening body. I am telling you, folks….I could hear Bagpipes playing the funeral dirge in the background just as surely as I can hear Jaws music up the farm track when it rains !!! ( usually  my stride keeps in perfect tempo with The Mission Impossible theme… ) Lots of other things happened today too, but I am just too traumatized still to say much about it all yet. Mum is now officially mobile in Wales…and drives on the right wrong side of the road now. The traitorous twosome did NOT allow me to sit on her shoulder when she drove us up and over the the mountain and then down the backside of the Moel Famau road.  I had to bark at all the sheep who were just wandering around the roads Ok, I have to admit to ONE very awesome thing happening today…. we all saw a very beautiful Fox just trotting down the lane, then crossed in front of Clio, our car ( and new friend ). It wasn’t rushing or anything….just trotting along. Sure am glad my Mum drives like an old lady on steep downhill curvy grades.

The vid speaks for itself. There is another vid of Yours Truly doing my Houdini Act when we got home, but will save that for tomorrow…

Mad Coat Disease !!!!

This is Chopper The Coat Hater, signing off for now……

I raise my Paw and Wag my tail in a *bark out* to my wonderful friend, Debbie Hannon, in Marana/Tucson, AZ !!!!! HellOoOooo and Thank You Debbie Of All Pet Travel ! HelloOoOo and Thank You’s to Rich and Erika, miss and love You’s ! You too,  Carmen,  All of Vail AZ, …. Lots of kisses and Wags.…Hiya’s to Maxx and Duke !

Chopper The Brave

” Going Where No Chihuahua Has Gone Before “

Just when I think I have My entourage all figured out, they switch up on Me !!! This time it took Me totally by surprise. First, let Me go back a day….Friday night there was NO small bit of trauma drama. It began on the way back down the farm track. My perfect, luxuriously handsome Chihuahua fur enables Me to pretty much root around through Nettles without giving them a whole lot of thought. This time, however it was not the case. Just as I was preparing let some water out of a nice green patch of Stinging Nettles, it happened. A bit of the Nettles was actually on the paved part at the beginning of the track. They stung the back of My front left paw pad. Bad, bad, bad, BAD !!! Right at the back in that really tender spot ! Oh waily waily WAILY !! Instantly I was reduced to slinking along the pavement shaking My paw, My entire body shivering and limping terribly. To understate it tremendously ….I was absolutely MISERABLE ! Mum carried Me home and all I could do was sit in her arms, and hold my quivering, throbbing paw paw out to the side like a broken chicken wing !!! Truly a miserable Grand PooBah. It took at least 2 full hours of abject agony before I could even lick the swollen bright red area. Not wanting anyone to see Me in such a reduced state, I made my “scary face” and ferociously snarled at anyone who even had the audacity to look at me or in the direction of my poor paw paw ! My entourage decided that half of a  benadryl capsule, craftily hidden in pieces of rolled up roast beef was in order. Yes, I knew the benadryl powder was in there. That crafty pair kept feeding me small bits of unmedicated beef, so I was unable to keep myself from gobbling up the pieces with the medicine in them. Was still kind of gimpy limpy for the Evening stroll and brought that crafty pair home much sooner than usual. I was feeling much better by bedtime, thanks. All of this actually brings me back to where this blog entry begins… It’s now Saturday morning. I had a lion…er… lie in. My entourage took me out for a quick morning walkies. Not the usual longer Saturday morning walkies I have become accustomed to, but I figured they still thought that I was under the Spell of those Evil Stinging Nettles. That Bearded Guy got right to work fixing Me the traditional, Chopper sized, cooked to order, fresh Welsh sausage for breakfast. Mum of course, tossed me three measly bits of wheat toast…rolls handsome green Chihuahua eyes..so much for pampering the injured PooBah !!  Right after breakfast, out came maps, bus timetables, pepsi tied into the sleeve of a bozo, and several other things out of the ordinary for a Saturday morning ! Before I knew it that crafty duo had put on my clothes ( harness with microchip tag ) clipped on the leash and headed out the door ! It was perfect weather for an outing ! Bright Sunshine, cool morning air, nice blue skies with a few little fluffy white clouds. Before I knew it We were on a bus headed up The Rainbow Pass. Ohmygoodness Me !!! It was flying !!!! Fast fast fast FAST !!! I had to check to make sure it wasn’t Ernie Prang driving the Knight Bus from a Harry Potter film !!  In mere moments we were in the village of Maeshafn. Another lovely local village tucked away in the beautiful Welsh countryside ! We trundled off The Knight Bus and headed back along the road then made a right onto a nice small lane.  A very friendly man out in his front garden greeted us with all the proper respect due to The Grand PooBah, and King Of North Wales and His entourage. What a nice village Maeshafn is ! My entourage had planned a VERY lovely walking morning. We were walking all the way back to My village of Gwernymynydd along a seldom traveled lane !!! Amazing views and scenery. It was such a secluded and  narrow lane that only a 3 cars and a tractor went by us all the way home. We passed a sign for the western side of Moel Findeg where it’s designated as a reserve, but kept to the lane. ( My Mum loves saying Moel Findeg over and over….rolls handsome green Chihuahua eyes !!! ) The entire walk is supposed to take an hour, but whoever made that map obviously did NOT have The Grand PooBah, King Of North Wales leading the way !! There were SO many new and exciting things to sniff, not to mention all the tireless scratch and sniffing necessary to rightfully mark everything as mine Mine MINE !!! In no time at all I realized why this eastern edge of the Clwydian Range is considered an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty ! After scratch and sniffing for quite some time, we passed a nice looking farm with what looked like very old stone outbuildings and horse stables right along the roadside. Just as my Mum was getting ready to take some pictures of the old stone stables, two very large and loudly barking dogs came dashing up the farmhouse driveway. The muzzle on one of the dogs was bigger than I was, so it became necessary to protect my Mum from up in her arms ! Alas, no pictures taken of the old stone buildings. The unmuzzled dog disappeared from sight, but the larger muzzled one just stood in the road totally awestruck by the fact he had just caught a glimpse of The Grand PooBah of All He Surveys and King Of North Wales ! As remote as this farm was, I can’t imagine he sees many people at all, much less GrandPooBahs. Before long we reached the Owain Glyndwr, a 250 year old Pub and Inn with another amazing view of the Welsh countryside ! It’s at the top ridge of a hill, with nothing else around it. VERY nice ! Down a bit and across the road, was a payphone box ! Guess a lot of Badgers, Fox, and Rabbit need to make calls. Or maybe its the cows and sheep, not really certain that hoofed animals can make calls even if they could fit inside the booth ! …. In any case, I don’t think its for humans because it did not take any coins ! From there it was all downhill to home. Exceptional countryside and scenery. Many places along the lane dipped and climbed into totally canopied woodlands, with amazing peeks into the incredibly green hills and fields in many directions. We were almost back to the lane near Our village that  we often walk, when we passed another farm. There were a lot of dogs barking, but none came out to greet us. ( thank goodness !! ) It turned out that the farm owners were peering out their kitchen window at us as we passed, and were going to chase us down in their car !!! When the man had dashed out to speak to us, we had already sidestepped up a little track so nosey posey Mum could see what was on the other side of a hedgerow, and he could not see us there. But all this is for another entry later… winks handsome green Chihuahua eye. Lets just say my charismatically buff physique had not gone unnoticed !! Again the lane became canopied with trees overhead and high hedgerows on each side. Mum peeked through one spot in the hedgerow and declared she saw a cow big as Mt Rushmore having a rest in the field !! Using the binoculars she could even see a newborn calf lying in front of it. Next thing I knew we were on familiar territory, I had already marked that part of Ffordd Las ! The home stretch was just down the lane and around the corner ! What a nice treat it was to actually see this area in full daytime, and not that soft light just after sunrise that I usually get along this lane ! That Bearded Guy took for-ev-ver to take some pictures of a Parasol mushroom family. I had led the way for 2.7 miles ( 120 minutes )…..it was clearly time for a nap !!!!!

Sunday, Mum just tortured me with almost 2 hours of deep vacuuming in the lounge and around the Crone Throne. ( We won’t mention the 9 stick pens, a Parker Pen, mummified Jaffa Cake, and various other things she kept handing That Bearded Guy from beside the Crone Throne once it was pulled out !!! )

Thats it for now. All in all, a fantastic weekend !

Tis I, Chopper The Brave, Grand PooBah Of All I Survey and King Of North Wales..long necking beside the Moel Findeg sign

The lane that leads Home ( In 2.3 more miles ! )

Come on Mum, carry on at this rate and second breakfast will be at tea time.

Sheep in a meadow

Looking back at Moel Famau ( that loaf on the top is The Jubilee Tower )

Almost to another woodland canopy

Careful Mum !! My Super Chihuahua hypersensitive hearing detects dogs up ahead !

There you go Mum, I told you I’d chase them off once I leaped up into your arms !

One of the many beautiful views !

Hmmm nice looking pub, do they serve Guinness ?

What do you mean its not open yet, surely you told them who I am !!

Tilty Phone Booth for Woodland Creatures

Almost down Ffordd Las to previously claimed territory

Parasol Mushroom fully opened. You can eat these if you want, but this Chihuahua is done with flying !

Closed Parasol Mushrooms

This is Chopper The Grand PeeBah…er.. PooBah, signing off for now……

So many pictures were taken along this walk that they were impossible to post here. ( honestly folks Mum really DID try to keep the number posted here to a minimum ) For a look at the 31 ( out of a bijillion) posted on flickr, just click >> Here <<

I raise my Paw and Wag my tail in a *bark out* to my wonderful friend, Debbie Hannon, in Marana/Tucson, AZ !!!!! HellOoOooo and Thank You Debbie Of All Pet Travel ! HelloOoOo and Thank You’s to Rich and Erika, miss and love You’s ! You too,  Carmen,  All of Vail AZ, …. Lots of kisses and Wags.…Hiya’s to Maxx and Duke !

Chopper The Brave

” Going Where No Chihuahua Has Gone Before “